For four years, Ikponmwosa and Olohi Osakioduwa have been married. Popularly called IK, he anchors Big Brother Africa. Not many know IK as a father and husband. He and his wife open up on their marriage
When was the first time you set your eyes on your wife and what was the attraction?
IK: Well, the first time I saw her was on the campus of the Lagos State University in late 2001. A friend introduced us. An aunt of mine had previously spoken about her but I never was keen on anyone trying to find a wife for me. Plus I wasn’t too sure I wanted to trust my aunt’s taste about her looks. So, I was very pleasantly surprised about how pretty she actually was when I met her. But, I was seeing someone else.
What was your initial reaction when he made his intentions known and what made you agree to be his girlfriend first and later his wife?
Olohi: To be quite honest, his declaration of interest really shocked me, because it came unexpectedly. We had already been friends for about five years when he suddenly called one day to ask me about my blood group. I asked him why, and he went on to indicate his interest. He knew I was dating someone else at the time and said he was willing to wait till I was done with that relationship. I have had no regrets.
How long did you date for?
IK: We dated for less than a year (something like six months before I proposed). Our first date was at cinema; we went to see a movie and then ended up at an eatery! Looking back it sounds slightly embarrassing but at the time, it was cute, intimate and just perfect.
How did he propose?
Olohi: I was in school in Southampton and his mother had called to tell me that she was going to be in London for a day and would like to see me. So I got on the train to London the next day. I got to my friend’s house and a few hours later, his cousin called to tell me that he (the cousin) was around and came to get me to go see IK’s mother. So I got ready and headed downstairs. I saw his cousin and we were chatting when suddenly, someone covered my eyes from behind me. I turned round and it was IK, not his mother. His mother wasn’t in London and didn’t even plan to come. It was just a ploy to get me to London. After the drama, his cousin dropped us off at a restaurant. Ik said he had come all the way from Lagos to have lunch with me. Unfortunately I had already had a big lunch and couldn’t eat but I said I’d go with him so he could eat. When we got there, he decided that there was no point having lunch if I wasn’t going to eat and asked that we have dinner later instead. I agreed. We went to the same restaurant later that evening, had dinner and the bill was brought. Curiously, I wanted to see the bill. It’s a bad habit of mine. One I have till this day, so he knew that I’d look at it. I opened it, saw the ring and he went on one knee and asked me to marry him. I just started laughing (I do that sometimes when I’m really pleasantly surprised). I remember the Japanese guy who managed the restaurant coming to tap me on the back and saying, ‘Madam you say, yes.’ It really was a beautiful moment.
Did you entertain fears she was going to turn you down?
IK: I didn’t worry for once that she would say no. I knew we were good friends and I was confident that she felt as good about us as I did. So I knew she would say yes. The only thing that got me worried or nervous was the details of the proposal. I wanted it to be right. I had only one day to pull it off.
Did you entertain any fears about dating somebody in the limelight and how did you overcome it?
Olohi: Well, not really. IK and I were friends way before he stepped into the limelight. So, I knew him as a person and I wasn’t afraid that the popularity would change who he was. I knew him for him and not for the things he has become popular for.
How long have you been married and how have you been able to keep your home?
IK: Well, we have been married for four years and this year will be our fifth. I’ll have to give most of the credit here to her. She’s very accommodating of my lifestyle and the craziness of the entertainment industry I work in. I often say on the radio and social media that every entertainer should have a wife like mine. She is secure in our relationship and so does not ever feel threatened.
On my part, I try to keep her involved in all that I do. That way she is always informed. Also, she is a crucial part of my story and process. I value family more than business so I make out time for us to hang out and date. We work hard at keeping the fire burning. In addition, we try to talk about everything.
I am sure you know he has many female fans. Do you get scared sometimes that he will give in to temptation?
Olohi: No I do not. He is very open and this allows for accountability. I know he will meet attractive women and vice versa. We don’t deny that. Rather we discuss it. We are very open, so I’m always aware of what’s going on at different points. Sometimes, we will even tease each other about other people we find attractive. This is a pretty good way of dealing with the reality of attraction. Other couples should try it.
How do you create a balance between your busy schedule and family life especially when you are working outside the country?
IK: Well, as I mentioned earlier, I value family and so I make sure I spend a lot of time with my family when I am not working. I try to be a loving husband to Olo and a “hands-on” dad with the kids. We talk often when I travel and I try my best not to be out of the country for too long without them. That’s why when I anchored Big Brother; I fly back into Lagos every week to be with her. Great relationships don’t just happen. You have to invest in them.
How do you settle your marital disputes and who is usually the first to apologise?
IK: We have a principle of communication. We discuss everything. Nothing is off limits. This is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds. Some things are really difficult and uncomfortable to discuss, but we are determined to keep it up. In the end, we always do better when we discuss our issues.
Olohi: I will have to give him the credit for usually being the first to apologise. He beats me to it most of the time. I do my fair share of apologising too. There is something really mature about a man who is secure enough in himself to apologise about something he feels he has done wrong. I’ve learnt a lot from IK here.
If you had to change anything about your better half, what would it be?
IK: She is doing awesome as it is. My wife can be quite a gangster. I love that about her, but I would also like to have her to be a little more vulnerable, unashamed and girlie in her love style.
Olohi: I do not know that I would change anything. Not because there are no flaws but because those flaws are part of what has brought us to where we are. Plus you never know if the change you wish for will do more harm than good. So, I am good with what I have now.
How do you keep the fire of love aglow in your marriage?
Olohi: I think I will also put this one down to communication. To effectively love someone, you have to understand him or her. To truly understand someone, you have to listen to them and learn to communicate your love for them in ways that they can understand/appreciate.
How do you both unwind?
IK: Well, we are party people I think. We both like to hang with friends. We also both enjoy TV. She likes all those lifestyle programmes and reality shows. She normally wins the battle for the remote. We also eat out a lot.
What is the greatest challenge in being married to IK?
Olohi: Well, in any relationship there are challenges. Ours is no exception. There are obvious challenges with time, because he travels a lot and also works odd hours here in Lagos. He somehow makes up for this though by being very involved with the kids and the home when he is available.
In addition, there is the fact that being in the limelight restrains you from doing or saying certain things. For instance, you can’t just get into fights or disagreements publicly or you will end up in newspapers. Overall, I would not say the challenges are enormous
In what ways are you alike and in what ways do you differ?
IK: We both love to go out. We both love TV. We both love kids. We both love to dance. We both love to pull pranks. She likes lifestyle shows, I do not. She has loads of close friends. I don’t (I know most people would expect the reverse to be the case). She is quick-tempered than I am too. She has her finger on the fashion buzz, and sadly I don’t.
Olohi: We both love to dance. He talks a lot, I don’t.
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